Even I'm tired of the "I'm not dead" routine. Let's skip it. There's only so long you can carry on not doing something before you have to admit you've failed to do it.
There are many things I've been failing to do, like exercise, eating healthily and keeping in touch with people. Most importantly, I've been failing to get on with doing the annotated translation, the last stage of my MA. Apart from the fact that the Distance Learning Centre at Sheffield has just announced it's started a staged closure (supporting everyone currently enrolled but not taking any more students) I really don't want to let it drag on any longer, even if I am allowed a second extension. I finally exported it from the translation tool today and started editing the English and adding annotations, although some of the translation is so rough that it's almost certainly not correct and I still have a good bit of 19th century Japanese to translate into modern Japanese so that I can translate it into English. Unfortunately, I'm still trying to figure the first step out.
I managed one small victory today, doing the first run for the "4 weeks to 1 mile" running podcast I bought - although it is the third time I've done it, with the previous two not being followed by any more running that week. I'm achieving a lot at work, but it doesn't feel like it. Nothing feels rewarding or fun. Not completing files, not things going to plan, not my paycheque, nothing. Doing what I should be doing is as unrewarding as doing things I shouldn't.
Today, I manged to give myself a second dose of conditioner instead of shower gel, almost switched the coffee machine on without putting any water in and managed to annoy my downstairs neighbours by deciding to sweep off my balcony while waiting for coffee to brew - of course, they were out on their balcony enjoying the nice weather and I swept a load of petals and leaves down on them. Left me feeling rather stupid.
I've had two good nights sleep, but I don't feel like it. Maybe I am hitting the limit of working 10 hour days 5 days a week. Work has been pretty stressful, with editing taking a lot longer than it ideally should. Plus lots of other messing around, none of which directly involves me, but leaves me thinking there but for my circumstances go I.
I do want to go and devote weeks and week to the annotated translation, and spend more time exercising and keeping in touch and somehow getting things done without feeling tired and stressed all the time. I'm really worried that I won't be able to get enough work freelance (I have enough saved up to do me the rest of the year, though), and anxious about getting my residency permit in Switzerland. Not being in the EU any more is going to be strange.
The other thing I've been doing is depressing myself by reading the blogs of some very talented and knowlegeable translators, wishing I was where they are, and once again considering biting off more than I can chew by looking at the OU degree in English and French.
They did have a link to this, which looks good:
http://www.britishcouncil.org/learning-research-englishnext.htm
For the moment, it goes in the vast pile of things I really should do but haven't got around to doing.
